A neutrino walks into a bar… and no fucks were given.

What’s a blind mans worst fear ? A prius

I like to make my websites with Ajax Because that way my designs always come out very clean.

Asked a friend if the hotel in town was hiring. “I don’t know, I bet you could check into it, though.”

Imagine a buffet for the Gods… there’s food for Thor.

Particles make up everything! Fucking liars.

I’ve tried every drug but crack. Who you callin’ buttcrack, asshole?!?!

Why did the guitarist go to jail? For fingering a minor

Who ever taught Storm Troopers how to shoot also must have taught white golfers how to high five each other.

Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son? Son: I smoked weed, dad Dad: Don’t lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot