where does a one legged waitress work? I-HOP

I once thought about write a book, but quit before I even started. It was a novel idea.

I will be watching Santa’s journey on Norad’s website very carefully this year. If he goes to West Africa before coming to the UK, I’m bricking the chimney up.

I was having sex with a female amputee in the dark I trying to figure out why my ass hurt, but she had me stumped.

Do you think Jesus described his hair color as light blonde or summer wheat?

I’d love a video montage of every single time I’ve walked into a room and forgotten why I’m in there.

My idea of Hell would be Ben Affleck reading me a sushi menu in his “Boston guy” voice.

What do a prostitute and a plumber have in common? They both service the john.

How do you know when it’s okay to swim in a pool of milk? When it’s past your eyes.

This baby at McDonalds may have started the screaming competition, but I guarantee I’m going to win it.