A magician is driving down a road… and turns into a driveway.

What does Donald Trump say when he’s mad? There’ll be hell toupee!

5: “I went to Banana Land. The bananas danced & had flowers & tiny pandas on their heads.” Me: “I’ll have whatever that kid’s having.”

I have this wart. I didn’t like it at first, but it grew on me.

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

What’s 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Donald Trump’s tie.

Why is North Korea so polluted? They have supreme litter.

Pupil: The art teacher doesn’t like what I’m making ? Dad: Why is that what are you making ? Pupil: Mistakes !

What did the homeless yoga instructor say when he was told to leave his camp site? Namaste.

My friend David had his ID stolen the other day so now we just call him Dav.