What do two cousins say after they have sex? Roll Tide.

Jersey Shore was doomed the moment they named it after Pauly Shore.

What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you? A phone moan.

Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don’t realize how bad it is for their health…..until I’m choking them

What do you get when you take Viagra with an iron supplement? an erection that points north.

Hush Puppies I felt like getting some Hush Puppies, but wanted something a bit more intense, so I went to the biker bar and ordered some Shut the Fuck Up Puppies

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Short Dad Joke These kind of jokes always make me laugh a little, if you don’t get it at first.. think about it! “A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.”

Dark humor is like clean water… it’s just not accessible to everyone.

Why don’t cannibals eat the feet? Because they are lactoes intolerant. Told to me by my 12 year old.