I live in a hutch filled with vibrating cedar chips

Your restraining order says NO But your lazy eye says…….maybe later.

Why is their always lightning in France? Obviously, since lightning takes the path of least resistance.

Spoiler Alert: In the season finale of Game of Thrones, YOU die.

I’ve counted 8 people so far whose New Year’s resolutions include “loose weight”. Can I add spelling to your list too?

What do you call a horny guy in a pool? Driftwood

Mom mom are farts heavy? “no, son”… “oh I guess I shit myself then”

How do you say Tony Romo in Spanish?(X-post r/nfl) Mark Sanchez.

It is well known…

A guy in New York is selling the world’s largest video game collection, which includes 11,000 games. He doesn’t really want to sell it, but he needs some way to pay for the divorce.