a man walks into a bar he had a concussion and died

What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self raising.

Hillary Clinton hot sauce Fiery and Bernie out the back end

Person I tried to rob describing me to the police: “long hair, wearing pajamas, honestly she didn’t seem very committed to it.”

My date thinks he’s gonna get me drunk, & then get in my pants. The joke is on him, coz my tolerance is sky high & I’m wearing a skirt.

While I might feel unsure how to react, my middle finger is well versed in handling stupid people.

An Irishman and his bean soup Why did the Irishman only want 239 beans in his soup? Because one more would be too farty.

I know this guy who prematurely ejaculates and he just comes out of no where…

If a cougar is a woman who likes younger boys… then a man who likes younger boys must be a Nittany lion!

Free joke for rats: Pick up a cashew and pretend to use it as a phone.