My uncle, as an oncologist…. … has a great sense of tumor.

What is Walt Jr.’s favorite movie? The Breakfast Club.

I heard they came out with the new black transformer… His name is Optimus *Crime*

Spaces matter in Spanish! Why? Because.

Woke up with no money. I was robbed last night by a guy who looks exactly like me, but drunker.

What do you call someone from Zimbabwe holding a bottle cap in their hand? A trillionaire.

What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One’s a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other one’s a fish.

What do you call a Chinese fly with no wings? A wok.

Mum why am i getting my Christmas present in August? Because its cheaper than chemo.

Why can’t you surf on microwaves? Because they’re too small.