Every time I use

My Grandfather was one of those Unorthodox Jews. He was a Nazi.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. An explanation please?

People say I’m a stand up guy.. ….but I prefer to sit down when I can. Good morning everyone!

How do you find a vegan at your dinner party? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.

“Doctor, is the baby healthy?” “Yes Kanye, and just so you know I was the first one to hold her.” “Huh?” *Ray-J pulls off surgical mask

Went out for a few drinks with some hedgehogs last night… I got spiked

The worst part of being an astronaut would be eventually having to come back to Earth and deal with other people.

A deer walks into a bar 3 people leave realizing how dangerous a deer in a bar is.

POLICE CHIEF: They call him the copycat killer ONE OF THE COPS (mocking tone): They call him the copycat killer [everyone looks at him] Oops