An Islamic person and a Christian person are arguing theology, and one says to the other “let’s be reasonable”. Ba doom’ chaaa.

In honor of America’s upcoming Independence Day, do you know why America spells “behavior”, “color”, and “humor” the way they do? Because **fuck u**, that’s why!

What happens to a tipped cow? They can’t MOOve

What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? He gets taller.

After announcing our weight at birth, parents shouldn’t stop. If they announced it at every birthday, we’d all be a lot skinnier.

i went to a wedding for two antennae The ceremony was pretty bad, but the reception was amazing

NEWS ANCHOR: Here’s Gary with day 1 of his outdoor summer weather report. GARY: [frying an egg on the sidewalk] I quit. Back to you, John.

Why was the alligator sad? It had a kiddie meal but didn’t get a toy.

What did the Redditor say at his wedding? TIL death do us part.

My son is a star mathlete. He has developed a geometric formula for fitting his body perfectly into a locker.