Here in England, we drive on the right side of the road. If we drove on the wrong side, there’d be a lot more crashes.

Two guys in Ohio die and wake up in hell The paramedics revived them

The Defecator. “That’s not even a real Transformer.” Beat it, kid.

Squirrels run around like they’re being chased. Nobody cares about you. You live in tree. Get a job

I like Jesus but he loves me, so it’s awkward.

“The main thing about being a woman is trying to lock in moisture” -TV

What’s the difference between a cow and 9/11? In the US you can’t milk a cow for 14 years.

The movie was better than the book because I’m illiterate.

Why is golf better than sex? It lasts for hours and they are 18 different holes.

Why did the whale cross the road? To get to the other tide.