Are you alone? Afraid? Lonely? Then you’d better turn up the TV because I just heard a noise

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.

Every Husband is a farmer by default. His survival solely depends on “agree”culture… “Agree”culture increases the GDP (Gross Domestic Peace). Not my original. Just heard at a party recently. 🙂

What did the officials say whenever systematic punishment was banned? There’s no punchline.

Whats the KKK’s favorite type of cake? Sheet cake.

My wife informs me that today our 2YO daughter said, “fart,” and laughed uproariously. Three times. So, yeah. That one’s mine.

If you ever feel useless… .. Remember that there is a comment section on porn sites.

When I was a kid my mother stopped breast feeding me. I asked her why and she says “hey, I just wanna be friends.”

“PARTY FOWL” someone yelled as the drunk duck did another keg stand

An officer gets shot in a marijuana raid…