As a Hilary supporter in Colorado, I’m still happy with the outcome of the election. Since proposition 106 passed I can legally kill myself now that trump won.

(Sigh) I thought “The Scarlet Letter” was a book about red stationery….

Jaws How do you know the girl from Jaws had dandruff? She left her Head & Shoulders on the beach

What is a goat herder known as in the Middle East? A Pimp

What’s big, green and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny? By the egg on its face.

A cheese shop was just bombed in Paris. There’s de-brie everywhere ^^^I’m ^^^really ^^^sorry

My grandpa told me this before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

What did the letter F say when he became cool? Sup G?

I don’t have a swimmer’s body. I have more of a drowning to death body. #Olympics