No body What do you call a man with no body and a nose? Nobody knows!

I wonder if Ronald McDonald sadistically cackles as he bludgeons innocent chickens and uses clown magic to turn them into nuggets.

Ladies, never agree to do an@l, save it for when you do something so bad a blowjob can’t fix things.

If a bear confronts you in the woods, make it go away by handing it a flyer for your boyfriend’s band’s show.

So a man goes to work… Memed XD im a grill btw so upboat plz.

Why was the actor detained by airport security? He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.

Me: Show me a pan that didn’t get clean the first time and I will show you a pan that needs to soak.. Wife: STOP TWEETING AND WASH THE PAN!

My doctor said if I get 1000 upvotes he will perform free LASIK surgery! Upvote for visibility.

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes – why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons? Because blonde guys aren’t that smart either