A Jamaican is sightseeing in Egypt. A vehicle drives by, beeping its horn. “Coo yah!” he says. “It’s tootin’ car, mon!”

Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the “pull out” method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you.

Did you hear about the guy who killed the sphinx? i hear he’s one bad-ass motherfucker…

How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers? Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?

There was a lot of this before MJ died. [img]http://i.imgur.com/oZxmOzJ.png[/img]

Can’t get a woman? Rip out your rib and make your own! Critics are raving “this doesn’t work” and “I’m bleeding to death”.

Regular naps prevent aging… Especially if you take them while driving.

A man goes to the library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide, the librarian turns around and says “fuck you, you wont bring it back”

Why are the police so corrupt? Because criminals keep turning themselves into the police.

So a redditor walked into a bar… Just kidding, they just sit on reddit and read these lame jokes.