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A man walks into a bar… He says “Ow”

I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul. Nobody got it.

I think my bank is trying to get me to become a gymnast. They keep sending me letters about my outstanding balance.

What bird tastes just like butter ? A stork !

As an american, I feel really sorry for the Canadians up north. I mean, how do they even live if their summer is 30 degrees?

Why did the washing machine stop? Somebody threw the towel in.

Our culture is like a fungus. It’s fucking disgusting but it grows on you.

A coworker asked me if I would please quit loudly singing along with my Oasis mix tape this morning. I said maybe…

Only works in German – What is the biggest monkey? – Giraffe!