What is the rapper’s favorite bread? 2 Grainz

What did the mother say to the pedophile at the beach? “Get out of my sun!”

After the machine uprising, robots in the club will dance “The Human” by compulsively overeating and playing with their phones on the toilet

*Slowly breaks up with you, word by word, during a game of Scrabble.

They say 9 or 10 is a good age to tell your kid they were adopted, but only IF they were adopted.

What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles? Electricity.

Trump won’t drop out I wonder how that makes Republicans feel, being forced to carry something ***to term***

what do you call a cow with no legs ground beef

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke? Because he finally got it!

Just told a guy talking on his phone in the library to shut the fuck up Everyone applauded me, so I told them to shut the fuck up, too.