Go Pats! (I mean people named Pat. Can’t be easy for them.)

I post stuff in the wrong sub-reddits. AMA wait… FUCK

My friend, Power, is always tired That’s because his boss makes him work overtime.

I asked a North Korean how was life in his country… He said he couldn’t complain.

I just started a new job at a factory that makes chess pieces. I’m on knights next week.

LAPD announced they fired a dozen officers this today… In other news, 12 cabins were burned to the ground in Big Bear.

You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I’ve got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears

People that type in all caps are… Capitalists.

what does a son tell to his mother when he’s leaving his house in India? Mumbai

Q: Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? A: They called it the herd shot ’round the world.