If you think my laughter is infectious, you should try having unprotected sex with me.

Its national left-handers day I’m going to rub one out with my right hand to give lefty his day off

“Go ahead, caller….” “Mom, you have to stop answering your phone that way.”

Why don’t black people ever go on cruises? We’re not falling for that one again!

What’s worse than ants in your pants? Uncles

A man walked into a bar. He should have been watching where we was going.

I used to be a plastic surgeon Which raised a few eyebrows.

How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat? She can fit into your wife’s clothes

How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep? She reads them pig tales.

Your momma is so stupid that she thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease.