My comedian alias would be The Carcinogin My jokes give people cancer

The life expectancy of reindeer is 8-10 years. We can stop singing about Rudolph now.

While I was very disappointed & angry to find my daughter smoking a cigarette I’ll be damned if she didn’t look cooler.

What’s the difference between God and Donald Trump? God doesn’t think he’s Donald Trump

An in-depth test to see if you know how to avoid Clickbait Apparently not!

Doctor Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in What about a matchbox!

If you wake up on Christmas morning with a bad taste in your mouth Remember, Santa only comes around once a year to empty his sack.

A pilots plane is shot down When he parachutes out, he is taken to a pow camp. He is later asked “What did you have on the wings of your plane?” “Holes mostly…”

TIFU by eating a U-Boat. Whoops, wrong sub.

Jehovah’s Witness I was just wondering………..if a Jehovah’s Witness dies and goes to heaven and knocks on heaven’s door….. does Saint Peter answer the door or does he hide like the rest of us???