Black people Ash Wednesday doesn’t have anything to do with. your dry cracked skin.

I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and told my mate “That’ll be us in ten years….” He replied, “That’s a mirror, you dick-head”.

A german tourist. A german tourist arrives at Warsaw airport. The immigration office asks: ‘Occupation?”. The german responds: ‘No, just holiday”

Knock knock joke Knock knock Who’s there? With. With who? With whom.

When I was a kid my Fairy-Godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory I can’t remember what did I chose!

What kind of bone will a dog never eat? A trombone! From Fargo Ep. 2

How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but it takes the entire emergency room to remove it.

Yesterday I told my aunt that DTF means “Doing the Facebook”. Her daily posts are much more entertaining now.

She was upset when I gave her 4 quarters rather than dollar… It has the same value. It doesn’t make any cents.

Don’t text and drive. Just pull over until you’re done using your phone. That’s what I do. I’ve been on the side of the road since 2011.