How come Justin Bieber doesn’t like to shop at Sports Authority? Because he likes Dick’s.

A grasshopper walks into a bar… and the bartender gets excited. The bartender says, “Hey, we’ve got a drink named after you!” The grasshopper replies, “You’ve got a drink named Greg?”

Job openings. A female HR calls a guy: Lady: Sir, I have two openings. Man: Yes, I know. The lady hangs up.

Once you go black you’ll sit in the back

How do you make a German shepherd? Put him in a synagogue.

Synchronized diving would be far more interesting without the pool.

What do you call a black man in a stunt plane? The brown streak.

My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook. This Is a typical “no right answer” type of situation.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z? They’re not infallible

Forget Washington, Lincoln, JFK. Trump Is Simply Going To Be The Best President To Have Come in A Melania.