Tonight at the Who concert As the band started up “You Better You Bet”, the guy next to me stood up to go get a drink. So I asked him – “Not a fan of their new album?”

Tweets that proclaim “your a idiot” never fail to delight me.

Why can’t Trump be compared to vegetables in jokes? Because even artichokes have a heart.

I would love my job so much more if I didn’t have to hide my flask.

Two Blondes walk into a bar They both fall on the ground, stunned from pain.

“Why is there sweat on my handbag?” “Calm down, it’s just a little pursepiration.”

Whats the difference between a Hoover and a Harley? The position of the dirtbag.

Last night I was driving down an old country road when I hit a pedestrian going 50 mph. It seemed to take forever for help to arrive. That’s the last time I use that towing company.

“I’ll be back!” -boomerangs -and herpes

If Adrian Peterson played baseball, how would he bat? Switch Hitter