Where does the Lone Ranger take his trash? To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump.

69% of people… …find something dirty in every sentence.

Trump says he’ll make Oasis pay for a wonder wall.

Music is a good place to hide.

The awkward moment you’re watching porn and your girlfriend walks in. I wish she’d told me she worked in the industry.

My girlfriend called me a peadophile the other day I said ‘that’s a big word for a 6 year old’

If history is written by the victors… …then who writes French history textbooks?

“How do you like your eggs?” “I like ’em just fine”

A whale is having a conversation with its son. Son: “Hey Dad, where did I come from?” Dad: “From my dick, son” Son: “Uhhh, thanks?” Dad: “You’re whalecum”

I like my women like I like my coffee… With no stray pubes.