I like the religions where they’re like “god left after he made earth.” that’s exactly what I would do if i created this mess.

What’s wrong with a chameleon that can’t change colors? He has a reptile dysfunction.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, then they’d be called bagels!

Where does Joseph Kony train his soldiers? Arizona

So if they were called the Mario Bros., that means Mario’s last name was Mario?

I couldn’t work at a Rainforest Cafe without yelling “You know where you are? You’re in the jungle baby! You’re gonna die!”

What do you call a gay person in a wheelchair chair? Rollaids

A man clicks on a post in /r/jokes… I’m watching you.

Hey girl are you a cool autumn breeze Because you make me wanna jacket

Q: What’s got four legs and no ears? A: Mike Tyson’s dog.