What is red and green, and goes over 3000 miles per hour? A frog in the blender

What does a redneck do on Halloween? Pumpkin

DOCTOR: You’ve suffered a brain injury. It’s affected your hippocampus ME:What? Lol sorry I was picturing hippos at college. Who are u again

If I had a dollar for every woman that finds me unattractive… …then after a while they would find me attractive.

Wonder what a black guy would look like without a diamond earring.

My girlfriend told me that if I ever cheated on her, it would be worse if it was with a black girl. I told her she was wrong. It’d only be three-fifths as bad.

Confucius say, many hand make for light work, But one hand make for quick job.

A. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? Q. They think their picture is being taken.

The World Trade Center had a Speed-Reading club they went thru fifty stories in thirty seconds

You say to-MAY-to and I also say to-MAY-to because nobody says to-MAH-to. Nobody.