Co-worker: My husband & I are praying for a baby. Me: You know that’s not how you get 1, right? You gotta have sex. What does HR want now?

What does a German woman dial when a man won’t take no for an answer Nein! Nein! Nein!

On my birthday my wife suggested I have a threesome… My wife suggested for my birthday I have a threesome. I replied “Do I get to pick both girls?” And then the fight started…

I was getting a handjob from this blind hooker… She told me: WOW! This is the biggest dick I have ever felt! I said “No way! You’re pulling my leg!”

Every single cat would kill you if it was big enough. Think about THAT when you are deciding between name brand cat food and the generic.

We get it. You’re Muslim. You don’t have to Ramadan our throats.

Why did the vampire consider himself a good artist? He liked to draw blood!

Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know.

Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide? Because it was too cold out tide.

Knock-knock