I love rock and roll so put another dime in the juke box baby… then add ninety more cents to play one song.

An undertaker and a snake If an undertaker and a snake got married, what would there towels say? Hissss and Hearse

The US flag on the moon lost its color and is now completely white It’s now the French flag.

My girlfriend calls it selective hearing. I prefer to call it drama filtering.

If only the first rule of Vegan club Was not to talk about Vegan club

If you’re American going into the bathroom and American coming out of the bathroom… What are you in the bathroom? European

Why did Adele crossed the road? To say hello from the other side.

A blind man walks into a fish store … and says: “Whats up girls”.

Kim Kardashian’s ass is ridiculous He’s egotistical too

ME: Hey you haven’t talked to me lately, are you mad at me FRIEND: No things are just really awful ME: Oh thank god FRIEND: What