Q; What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head? A: Homeless.

Two gay guys are hanging out… Two gay guys are hanging out, and one says to the other, “Hey, let’s play hide and go seek! Loser gets fucked in the ass… I’ll be behind the couch.”

Why do audiophiles nerver loose a fight? Because they’re lossless.

Q: What part of the road is always crying? A: The breakdown lane.

Why was the dolphin happy and the shark depressed? The sharks life lacked porpoise.

why don’t blondes make good cowgirls? they can’t keep their calves together

I found a cheap prosthetic arm on Craigslist Secondhand

I saw Adele at the train station the other day on the other platform She said ‘hello from the other side’

So, I saw the movie Still Alice last night. It’s easily forgettable.

Why do you really not want to get pulled over in Ireland? Because the cops are Dublin the fines! (It took me a three hour car ride to come up with this… I am not a clever person)