bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer’s Doctor: “It’s bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer’s.” Patient: “Oh well, it could be worse – at least I don’t have cancer.”

A man and a woman walk into a bar…

I’ve heard that Americans don’t find paedo jokes funny Guess they’re just a bit touchy

I tried to google image search Rorschach tests… but all I could find were pictures of boobs.

What do you call a video game that gives cancer? Tombr Aider

So I was going to blame my pet ostrich for a crime i committed But my lawyer advised that it wouldn’t fly in court.

*hires skywriter* $1 MILLION DOLLARS OR I SKYWRITE GAME OF THRONES SPOILERS!

Two non-english speaking Mexican go to gran central… One of them goes up to the cashier and asks for “tu tickets plees”. The cashier asks “one-way?” To which the Mexican responds “no, two gueys.”

What is potential energy’s favourite season? Summer, because it comes before fall

Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone? Because it wasn’t the droid he was looking for!