When Chuck Norris finishes a joke … It’s called a roundhouse kick line.

The reason Santa is so Jolly? Is it because he knows where all the BAD girls live?

What is a junkies favorite drink? Hepsi

As bad as 2016 seems to be, it could be worse… You could have got a phone call from Charlie Sheen.

What sound does a Japanese camera make? “Crick”

What did Obama say to Michelle when he proposed? “I don’t wanna be obama self.”

A homosexual, a pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink.

Me:She’s better than me. BF:She’s not. M:Look at those, they’re incredible! BF: M:STOP STARING! -Boyfriend reading other women’s tweets

Damn girl are you deaf? I said, Damn girl are you deaf?

I hate all 1970’s female solo artists What a bunch of pre-madonnas