[Walks into a bar] A forgetful women of three children walks into a bar, intensely focused on knitting a sweater for her eldest… Whoops, wrong thread.

What do you call a chiropractor in Egypt? A cairopractor.

What’s an emo’s favorite file type? .rar

It’s been a big year for my ten-year-old. Two months ago, he attended his first confession…. …. It took the cops four hours to break him. He’s got some willpower, that kid!

The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I’m a huge python, btw.

I once played the back end of a wasp in a pantomime play. But I thought I was the bees’ knees…

My body is a temple… And it’s devoted to Dionysus. Cheers.

What’s black, white, and red all over and can’t turn around in a narrow hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

My fast joke Are you a human or a dog

No one is completely useless… You can always be used as a bad example.