How can you tell if there’s a mosquito in your bed? By the “M” on his pajamas.

I took some pictures of my girlfriend’s butt this morning I’m saving them for posteriority.

What do you get when you vaporize a king? A noble gas.

Why will you never see a stag on the internet? They like to stay anony-moose

The guys that taught me every medicine joke I know just arrived at my doorstep. I decided to in-vitamin.

Two pieces of asphalt are at a bar A piece of red asphalt walks in. One says to the other “watch out for him, he used to be a cyclepath”.

Have you heard about the first restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

Why don’t women wear skirts during winter? They’ll get chapped lips!

I really like the concept of train tickets. It’s an idea I could get onboard with.

Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres just drowned? They found her face down in Ricki Lake