Did you hear about the Power Plant that was bad for the environment all year? He got coal for Christmas.

Why did the T-Rex get hammered at noon? Because he’s a Wino-saur!

Why are redneck murders hard to solve? No dental records and the DNA is all the same.

I named my penis Truth… Because bitches can’t handle it!

So it’s my birthday and my parent sang me happy birthday. Mom: “Happy birthday to you!” Dad: “Happy birthday to you!” Mom: “Happy birthday to you!” Dad: “You were born because your mom sniffed glue.”

Sex through the ages: Age 20-30: Tri-weekly Age 30-40: Try weekly Age 40-50: Try weakly

How do you know when your BBQ is ready in Canada in April? The snow on top of it has melted.

Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can’t remember the lyrics.

What do you call someone who supports Hillary? Paid off.

A man was walking on a nude beach… A man with a foot long dick was walking on a nude beach when he was arrested by the police. The charge? Weapons of Lass Destruction