I’ve adjusted my insults to be more pc Instead of calling people gay, I call them straight.

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An in”vest”igator 😀

When I hear someone complain that their towns are boring with nothing to do, all I hear is a boring person who doesn’t know how to have fun.

My friend can talk about auto-erotic asphyxiation til he’s blue in the face.

A man came to my door earlier and asked for a small donation towards the town’s new swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water

I hate it when I go to bed and forget to turn off my swag.

What do Russians and gays have in common? They both like bears.

April is alcohol awareness month…..I think we’re all aware. Cheers!

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.

I like to bring bags of winter clothes into strip clubs and tell them to cover up. Then yell how they’re embarrassing the family.