The difference between a rock band and a jazz group The rock band will play 3 chords in front of 1000 people. The jazz group will play 1000 chords in front of 3 people.

What game do 18 dogs like to play during the summer? Woofleball

Joined Match.com… And all I got was a lit cigarette

What do you call phrases that Jews often say? Judaisms.

My math teacher called me average How mean.

“I just called to say I love you.” -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work

What do a coffee pot, Irene, and the reigning Stanley Cup champions have in common? They’re a-Brew’in!

How do you tell if your gas station attendant is a former porn star? Right before he finishes pumping your gas he takes it out and sprays it all over your car

Why is the United States always in political disarray? It’s a nation without a litre.

We have to break up. What? Why? It’s not Staryu… it’s Starmie.