What did the three holes in the ground say? Well, well, well My grandpa’s favorite joke. Took me five years to get it.

What Does a Duck Smoke? ( _)>- **Quack** (_)

I once new a guy that worked at a tool and die company… …He was hit with a tool, and died

If the Pottery Barn didn’t want me to bring my goat in the store, they shouldn’t have called it a barn.

Told my grandma that some chimps and monkeys are learning to hunt with Spears. She responded with “what? Are they gonna join isis too?”

whats the difference between Michael Phelps and adolf hitler Michael Phelps can finish a race

Tombstone: Here lies Houdini 2nd Tombstone: Now I’m over here

Running out of space for your porn collection? Just download midget porn, it’s half the size

Every function without you will always be void of love.

What do you call a woman who’s not wearing underwear? A barracuchi.