Your mom’s got eight vaginas and a Ph.D. We call her Dr. Octopus.

Fact: 9/10 people enjoy date rape

Girl, do you have a defibrillator? Cause my heart stops everytime I see you

One man’s girlfriend is another man’s Twitter password.

Had a very hot curry last night and now my asshole is on fire … I’m suffering from deja vindaloo.

For sale: Standards. Mint condition. Barely used.

Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg out, Put -spider hokey pokey

What do you call? What do you call a donkey with three legs?? A wonkey!!

Where do most black people work? In jail

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg? He has to Breddit