How can you tell an old person from a young person? An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time.

What do black people and Apple Inc. have in common? They have no jobs

Bigfoot walks into a bar.. The bartender is no longer able to discern reality and spends the rest of his life in a mental institution.

What did the spice merchant say when someone knocked on his door? Cumin!

If a duck and a elephant were to vote They’d vote for donald trunk

What did the bee say to his wife? No on knows. It’s a Mister Bee.

How many communists died during ww2? not enough

Approach a woman in a bar and whisper “Hey, wanna get out of here?” If she says yes, you can sit where she was.

I wish I could erase my memory of certain movies so I could watch them again for the first time.

Don’t be afraid to be open-minded. Your brain isn’t going to fall out.