Cocaine I tried and failed to use cocaine. It kept falling off the mirror in the bathroom.

Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my cock!

What does your mom and a rain forest have in common? If you look deep enough in the bush, you might find a cockatoo.

My tampon just leaked during my bath and now it looks like I made a tub full of passion fruit tea.

How many white teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb …none they would rather sit in the dark (im white teenage and mean no harm in this joke)

Everyone worries about Pao. They should be worried about… Darude Sandstorm

Babies are just people that haven’t hurt your feelings yet.

I don’t like thinking about gravity. It brings me down.

PATIENT: I bet medical school was pretty tough DR DOG: yeah I remember one time I did my assignment 4 times bc I ate the first 3 copies lol

I never bought candy bars from those kids on my doorstep so I guess they’re all in gangs now.