Came up with this joke this morning in the shower. I took a tour of a prison for poets, at the end the warden asked what I thought of it. I said it has its prose and cons.

I am Looking a Bank I am Looking for a Bank which can perform Two things for me. Give me a Loan, and then Leave me Alone….

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. First they beat the room for being black, then they arrest the light bulb for being broke.

Sporty I bought my wife fumarate. Now during sex moans as Sharapova.

Drinking ink won’t kill you, you’ll just dye a little inside.

I swear if I see one more tweet about 11/11/11 being once in A life time I will snap. Every date is once in a life time! That how time works

My boyfriend doesn’t believe in labels, which is probably why he drank all that bleach

Why is it so hard to order pizza from me? I’ll update with the hilarious punchline later…

Attractive women post selfies and refer to themselves as ugly. As a group, if we begin agreeing with them we could stop that shit quick.

What time do dentists fly airplanes? Tooth Hurty (2:30)