If a groom is a person that takes care of a horse, why don’t they call the bride a jockey?

“Papa who was Hamlet?” “You birdbrain! Bring me the Bible and I’ll show you who he was.”

Hello. I am Public Restroom. Would you like some toilet paper that melts in the palm of your hand? Here, have some empty soap, my child.

Today I asked the Director of Admissions at my University what the best thing about her job was… And she said, “Well, I gotta admit…”

When people write, “your dumb,” maybe it’s not a typo–they just mean stupidity belongs to you. “Here’s your dumb now leave.”

My Grandma’s church was odd in that they worshipped paintings. Very weird. Every week they would stand up and sing “How Great Thou Art”

Experience with women has taught me that Jack was most likely pushed down the hill.

Did you hear about the Indian who drank 4 gallons of tea? They found him dead the next day in his tea pee.

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick

Why aren’t there any knock knock jokes about America? Because Freedom Rings.