Why did the girl reject iron oxide? Because it was FeO

What do you get if you play a C&W song backwards? Your wife back, your house back, your car back, and your dog back.

My Muslim girlfriend wants to blow me Should I be excited or call the cops?

When my wife told me to stop imitating flamingos, I had to put my foot down

Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

What did the Frenchman say when he saw a dirty toilet? Eau de Toilette! (eww, the toilet)

Hey, did you hear about the Mexican-Indian twins that just moved in next door? They’re identical too! Once you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Jamal.

You know what really grinds my gears? Not pushing my clutch pedal down far enough

A shower so cold, you call it by your exes name

Q: How did a blind woman pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler.