Johnny Depp is to Tim Burton what Tyler Perry is to Tyler Perry.

Jokes about fat people aren’t funny. They just don’t work out.

The local high school volley ball team was having a game against the police force. It was time for the police to protect and serve.

[finally rich enough to go to a tailor] “How can I help you sir?” One clothes please!

Why are blacks excited for 2016? Because it is the year of the monkey.

I’ll apologize for burning your house down if you apologize for telling me I “overreact.”

Him: I think you’re my soul mate. Me: I’m so SO sorry for you.

If you pitch a non-superhero, non-remake, non-sequel film in Hollywood they send your family to a work camp.

A recent study showed that 93% of the people in Detroit have had shower sex The other 7% have not been to jail.

I asked my 3yo daughter if I should get a minivan… She said, no, you should get a Daisy van.