Pick the odd one out… Pick the odd one out: eggs, meat, wife, blowjob. You can beat your eggs, you can beat your meat, you can beat your wife, but you can’t beat a blow job

The fact that we’re not calling stepdads “faux pas,” seems like a missed opportunity.

What’s the difference between a boy scout and a jew? The boy scout comes home from camp.

Did you hear about the abstinent lenses? They never came in contact.

What’s the difference between an elected official and a piece of garbage? Garbage gets thrown out.

My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn’t want me gettin’ any ideas.

Things that are better left unsaid 1. 2. 3.

What do you call a hypnotist that works with wealthy children during the summer? an heir conditioner.

Fun way to prank Jesus is to invite him snorkeling haha he’d be stuck on top walking on the water while ur underneath having all the fun

What did the bra say to the toupee? You go on ahead, I’ll hold these two up.