I wonder if Satan ever gets tired of getting Xmas letters from dyslexic kids.

My thoughts are as pure as snow… after the trucks have driven hard and plowed through it.

Yeah, hi, I’d like 500 pizzas over the course of the next 10 years delivered to wherever I am in the world, thanks.

Did u hear about the prostitute with no legs? She’s selling it for half off.

[True Love’s gf on 7th day of Christmas, forcing smile] awww Swans! how sweet! thx hon, these 7 birds will go nicely with the other 16 birds

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass. (Haven’t seen this on here, hope its not a repost.)

Whaat do you get when you cross a Swede and a Norwegian? A socialist who wants to be king!

I just want a woman who has a great sense of humor about being a supermodel.

I was trying to convince my friend to go fishing the other day. It took a while to convince her, but then she finally agreed and had fun fishing. She eventually fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

I wonder if racist families have that one liberal uncle who gets drunk at Thanksgiving and goes on about how Obama is DEFINITELY American.