What did the racist chess player say? All Rook same!

Asians be like… ay bb u wan sum duck?

Always helpful… Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he’s a mile away and barefoot.

Jogging, but with a car.

Who is the richest person in the Bible? The Pharao’s daughter. She went to the bank of the Nile to pick up a little prophet.

One of my oldest friends is my receding hairline… We go way back.

My friend started jogging so he’d live longer. He got hit by a bus and died the next day.

Man comes to psychologist’s office He kicks the door open, enters, leans above the desk, and staring psychologist in the eyes says: “Now, tell me, bald ugly little man, why I don’t have any friends?”

Lawyers really aren’t so bad, it’s just ninety-nine percent of lawyers that make the rest look bad.

Fish Cakes A guy walks into a bar with a Salmon under his arm and says, “Do you sell fish cakes here?” Bartender: No we don’t. Guy: That’s a shame… it’s his birthday.