I was told I was addicted to cocaine, but I can assure you I am definitely not. I just love the way it smells.

2 deer walk into a bar An hour later they walk out and one says to the other, “Man, I can’t believe I blew twenty bucks in there.”

What do you call the area where a horse lives? The NEIGHHHHHHborhood

What car does a japanese girl love to ride Nee-san

Save the cheerleader, save Reddit.

How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got down on one knee and said, “I don’t wanna be Obama self.”

“It’s not you, it’s me” – DiGiorno, to delivery

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench… Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn’t reach.

If the human race has a “signature move,” its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.

Why did the Romans build straight roads ? So their soldiers didn’t go around the bend !