What’s the difference between a stripper and a hooker? Usually about $40

I dropped my electric toothbrush in the garbage disposal and accidentally co-produced a Skrillex album.

What do you call Halloween for feminists? Triggertreat

I’m so old… …my organs are harpsichords.

I don’t understand hair It’s just over my head.

My son wants a bb gun for Christmas I told him I’l give it my best shot

There’s nothing worse than when you tell someone it’s a long story and they reply with “I have time.”

I got a haircut recently. I thought it was too short at first, but it’s started to grow on me.

on fire The chief of the fire department walks into the room where the other firemen wait and says: “Take it easy boys, the Tax Office is on fire.”

I was really ticked at my woman tonight, so I stapled her fun bags together. If ya can’t lick ’em, join ’em.