I think some drugs should be legalized… but cocaine is where I draw the line.

What’s the difference between Australia and Yogurt? Culture

I would post a Casey Anthony joke… But my mom would kill me.

What do you call the Japanese demon of spices? The Pepper Oni.

New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

*bangs gavel* wife: who???

Preventing childhood obesity… It’s as easy as taking candy from a baby.

What did the dyslexic bank robber say when he robbed the bank? “Air in the hands motherstickers! This is a fuck up!”

Two fish swim into a wall One looks at the other and says *”Dam!”* #oldbutgold