What’s Bill Clinton’s favorite Pink Floyd jam? Have a Cigar

I feel sorry for my testicles. They can’t even hang out without being judged.

All men approve of premarital sex…until they have a daughter.

How do you bury a Jew? Dig a really deep hole and throw a penny in it.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport? Because he was Snowden.

I just failed my butcher’s exam. Mis-steaks were made.

An artist found a way to draw a two-sided figure, but the International Geometry Summit immediately began to furiously contest the new shape… I say, let bi-gons be bi-gons

What were the political views of the librarian? She wanted open borders.

What’s the difference between the foundation of a building and the average Redittor? The foundation’s been laid.

How can Rihanna tell when Chris Brown’s cheating on her? The brand of makeup on his knuckle isn’t hers.